Miss Manners: Relative indulges in ‘insult collecting’

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Miss Manners: Relative indulges in ‘insult collecting’
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Frequently, when I say something that I think is innocuous, ... he fires back ... as if I had insulted his intelligence.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: At holiday gatherings, I often see a relative with whom I have an uneasy relationship. I am striving to make things friendlier between us.

First, how can I keep a know-it-all watch on myself, so that I avoid every appearance of condescension? And second, how can I respond to him in the manner most likely to mollify his feelings? But you know that. You also know that censoring yourself will not help; the merest pleasantry can be taken for sarcasm.

He explained that he would be otherwise occupied all day and could only meet me at his hotel -- after 10 p.m. He would be leaving the following day, so he could only see me then, face to face, to discuss working together.

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