'What was meant to be an attestation of his strength suddenly turned into mockery and a cruel dismissal of his experience. This is a memory that I could never quite let go of.'
A lot of us grew up being told that our negative feelings are invalid, annoying, and even destructive.
When we were finally done, my son proudly accepted a colorful sticker from the phlebotomist. The sticker hadprinted amidst triumphant bursting stars. He wore it proudly on his chest, his face still glistening with tears.“It says no tears today.” As a therapist, a big part of what I do is to help people process their feelings. A good number of people struggle with the prerequisite step, the identification of feelings. In sessions, I am often met with a look of confusion, frustration, and resignation when I ask people to name their feelings. Some question the utility of this exercise. Some are openly fearful of unearthing things that they have worked hard to suppress. Some insist that they, in fact, have no feelings.
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