Clint Eastwood, Ben Affleck, Maury Povich, Ryan Reynolds, Cary Grant, whoever directed “Barbie”—Jewish, gay, nude, short? Ask Giuliani.
“Matt Damon is a—Matt Damon is a f*g. Matt Damon is also 5’2. Eyes are blue. Coochie-coochie-coochie-coo.”
You know who else is gay? Clint Eastwood. No one knows. Clint Eastwood. But it’s like a manly gay, if you know what I mean. I know this because I kissed him once. On the cheek. By mistake. It was lovely, though. We went camping. I met Ben Affleck. You know how tall he is? He’s four feet two inches. Honest to God. He might be gay. Although short people aren’t usually gay. His wife is very beautiful. Also smart. Which is surprising. They’re both Jewish. Obsessed with the High Holidays. Simchat Torah this, Simchat Torah that. Wouldn’t shut up about Simchat Torah.
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