There’s no coming back from collaborating with Vanilla Ice, as the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles’ disappointing film and TV efforts over the past three decades bear out.
The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles were always juvenile and Rowe’s film panders to its target demographic, replete with one Turtle twerking and their newfound human acquaintance April O’Neill —a fledgling high-school reporter—uncontrollably vomiting on-camera due to extreme nerves. Given the proceedings’ general immaturity, the fact that there’s no potty humor should be taken as a minor victory.
Adults won’t find much to latch onto here unless they’re the sort who delight at characters using contemporary slang like “sus” and “rizz;” the only way in whichcaters to over-12 moviegoers is with its soundtrack, which uses ’90s cuts to keep them from falling asleep. Still, a kiddish tone isn’t the death knell for the film, and its graphic-novel flair is intermittently enlivening.
Rogen and Goldberg’s screenplay is verbally hyperactive and narratively straightforward. Desperate to be a part of the human world that Splinter distrusts, the Turtles befriend April, indulge their heroic impulses, and cross paths with a criminal bigwig whose gang has been making headlines stealing high-tech equipment.The villain in question turns out to be Superfly , Stockman’s former guinea pig pet, who shares the Turtles’ desire for acceptance.
here isn’t a single inspired line to be found in the film; instead, it expends most of its energy on routine nods to the Turtles’ love of pizza, a single utterance of their catchphrase “Cowabunga,” and repeated jokes about the quartet’s fear of being milked by humans.
Cleverness, however, is in short supply throughout the rest of this functional endeavor, as Rowe and his collaborators tick off items on their IP checklist and diligently avoid deviating from formula. Such cautiousness prevents it from sinking to the depths of previousanimation landscape, standing out requires significantly more coloring outside the lines.
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