The Queue Has Absolutely Destroyed Me

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The Queue Has Absolutely Destroyed Me
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In the interminable week since Queen Elizabeth II died, a number of truly confusing events have transpired. But one recent development regarding the transition of the monarchy has utterly, irrevocably broken me

, the Queue is “constantly moving,” so no one can sit down. The British government has set up over 500 public toilets, water stands, and first-aid stations at various checkpoints, and nearby venues, including the Globe Theatre, will also be staying open to provide extra bathrooms. There are several checkpoints where officials are handing out wristbands that let you leave your spot to, I guess, drink water and pee before you resume your tortured coffin march.

The U.K. government has helpfully provided a live tracker for the Queue on YouTube, should you be curious about how things are going. As of Thursday afternoon, it was 4.7 miles long. How long can this madness go on, you ask? The coffin will be on view 24 hours a day until Monday at 6:30 a.m. BST. Officials will start turning people away from the line whenever it becomes clear they won’t make it to the front in time for the funeral. Until then, the powers that be have made plans for the line to occupy up to ten miles, and are warning anyone who dares step foot in the line that they could be waiting up to 30 hours.

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