'If my wife and I start a movie after 8PM it becomes a two night mini-series.'
my husband said the way the new bathroom fan works is “interesting” and i said “is it though?” and now he’s explaining in full detail as i prepare to hurl myself into the sunMy husband's back is softer and smoother than mine and frankly I think that should be illegalI told my husband to wake me up at 5:30 and he actually did and oh boy is he in trouble.Just pointed out to my in-laws that their anniversary falls on hump day, so follow me for more tips on creating awkward family moments.
Me: Oh! Oh! No, I’m married! To a woman, I mean! You’re reading that part right! Spot on! Excellent gaydar! Nice! High five!Are you happily married or did you just watch your hubby tiptoeing backwards outta the corner of your eye like a cartoon rabbit bc a container of blueberries spilled all over the floor
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