'If I get a soapbox, here’s my short shtick: We are all so fragile. Each day is precious. And the most important parts of our lives are the relationships we invest in.' (From 2017)
we needed to. Morale was high, and our company was still small enough—45 people or so—that I could chat with anybody at work about real things in life besides work.
A couple hours later I called Amy and asked her to join me. They’d already done a bunch of tests and ruled out the obvious—urinary tract infection, epidural abscess—and were sort of grasping at straws. Over the phone, I asked Amy, who is a clinical psychologist, if she could think of anything else I should tell the doctors. “Have you told them about the night sweats?” she asked, her stomach sinking. The look on the ER doc’s face when I passed that on should have been my first clue.
My head was spinning. Thinking of Amy brought fresh tears to my eyes because she and I have worked so hard to raise a family while pursuing two ambitious careers. We had promised each other that in a few years, when the girls headed off to college, we’d work less and travel more. Amy didn’t deserve to lose those dreams, or her companion, just as we were on the brink. Then I thought of my mom and dad. My mom would break.
When the clock struck 10 pm Thursday night, I passed out. I’d spoken with some of my best friends during the day, but it was a bit awkward. What was I supposed to tell them? “Hey, I’m in the hospital. I have cancer. Not sure what kind. Oh, and a bunch of clots. But at least I can pee!” I’d avoided calling my mom back. She’d phoned and texted about 1,000 times. I was definitelywith an urgent problem: They had found a blood clot the size of a Ping-Pong ball in my heart’s right ventricle.
Why an all hands? Well, this was obviously big news, and I wanted everyone to hear it all at once. I wanted to share it raw and to project confidence, sorrow, and love. Why video? Well, I admit I regretted that choice a smidge when I saw myself in a thumbnail on my laptop screen with a hospital gown, an open wound at my neck where they’d fished in the stent, and arms connected to several IVs and beeping monitors.Hey folks, many of you know I haven’t been feeling well for several weeks.
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