Once you have mastered these core psychological skills, many relationship conflicts become easier to manage
Yes, some folks are controlling to be controlling. For them, it’s about power and manipulation and using others as objects to get what they want, but for most, control is tied to. You constantly feel micromanaged by your boss, but likely she’s a worrier who is always looking ahead at possible worst-case scenarios. The control can feel more suffocating when you are living with someone, or even worse if this has been going on for years.
Next, instead of snapping and saying, “Get off my back!” say, “Tell me what you’re worried about.” That’s the driver; that’s what puts the problem back in their court. But you need to practice saying this calmly: Think less about you feeling like a victim and more about the other struggling.You feel your partner drinks too much or is too rigid or lazy, driving you crazy. At this point, the problem is yours, not theirs.
This is about learning what pushes each of your buttons. Like cleaning the house, fixing the car, or raising the kids, learning how to run your relationship is a process of trial and error. It’s okay to make mistakes, but it’s not okay not to learn the lessons the mistakes are teaching you.If you want to have control, if you want to be right, live alone. But if you live with someone, you need to learn to make compromises. Compromise is associated with caving in.