'My family isn’t thrilled about the relationship for a few reasons. My girlfriend doesn’t have a stable career.'
Dear Quentin, I have been in my current relationship for almost three years. I’m a young woman, 41, have a great, stable career and make about $100,000 a year. I am ambitious and my prospects have me increasing my income by $10,000 every year. I have about $140,000 in savings, and no debt. I am close to closing on a home, which will be completely financed by me.
We don’t live together, but we have started the marriage discussion, and plan on moving in together when I close. My family isn’t thrilled about the relationship for a few reasons. My girlfriend doesn’t have a stable career. She has no ambition, and makes significantly less than I do. Given all this, I need help figuring out what’s fair for the prenup and for our living situation. For the prenup, I was thinking that we include no spousal support/alimony, no sharing of retirement accounts/contributions made during marriage, and everyone’s debt incurred during the marriage is their own.
As far as living arrangements, we will create a household budget to include combined expenses such as mortgage, utilities, groceries, dining out together, etc. Until we get married we will split things down the middle. After marriage, we will open joint savings and checking accounts. Marriage is many things, but as you suggest, it is a business contract in addition to a commitment to spend the rest of your life together. Or, at the very least, a show of willingness to do that. Before I get into the nitty gritty of your prenuptial agreement, the overarching feeling from your letter is one person who holds all the cards, and another person who doesn’t get much of a look in.
— The Moneyist There are no hard-and-fast rules when it comes to prenuptial agreements. It really depends on what each party believes is fair. Your fiancée is signed up, but if you are reimbursing her for her contributions to your mortgage if you sell the house, it would make sense if you would apply this principle to a possible divorce. Otherwise, she will be punished if you split, but the outcome is the same for you.
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