“At a bar, Matt Damon and one of the Afflecks (the one you like less) both order a Sam Adams, the only beer legally allowed to be served on tap in Massachusetts.”
who is not from Boston but attends Harvard University, the premier academic institution for love interests. Despite his thick accent and lack of conversation skills, there is something about his steely New England demeanor that appeals to her. They leave the bar and get Dunkin’ iced coffees before going back to her placeThe professor makes Matt Damon go to therapy because he believes that it will make him a better criminal.
, a crack team of investigative journalists from the Boston Globe, have uncovered a huge corruption scandal within Boston’s law-enforcement community. Outraged, the law-enforcement agents get into a large brawl. Mark Wahlberg shoots the other Affleck. Then Kevin Bacon shoots Mark Wahlberg. Then the other Affleck, who wasn’t actually dead yet, shoots Kevin Bacon. Then the therapist, who it turns out was an F.B.I.
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