Your teen won’t engage. How can you get real conversations started? Try asking your kid open-ended questions and use these other conversation starters to help improve communication and get things done.
would become a series of rapid-fire questions, which made him mentally shut down. He knew I tended to think five steps ahead to feel prepared. And frankly, it’s exhausting. And if I’m exhausted, well, I’m guessing he’s exhausted by me. Not a great foundation for authentic communication — or for getting anything accomplished.
What I also learned that day is that my hard-hitting questions overwhelmed him. And that’s very typical of those with attention deficits. Of course, I knew this from my work as anstudent coach, but sometimes it is hard to see the forest when it is your child. Guilty as charged! The bombardment of questions overwhelmed his brain and made it impossible for him to find “room” to collect his thoughts. He needed time and space to process my questions before formulating a response.
So, did we have any “Momversations” that day? Yes. Several of them, in fact, and very good ones — just not what was on my agenda. That day, I approached our conversation much more softly. Instead of a board meeting atmosphere and endless rounds of questions, I put Eli in charge of what he wanted to discuss, and the conversation flowed naturally. Did I get all my answers? No. But we made progress, and I quickly learned that the rest could wait for another day.
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