Overcoming death anxiety
DisclosuresDisappointment – “I failed this exam, my life is ruined” or regret – “I am getting a divorce, I wasted so much of my life.” Patients present with a wide variety of complaints that can be understood as a form of death anxiety.
Death may have some evolutionary purpose that encourages the promotion of newer and more fitter genes, but one doesn’t have to consider its origin and reason to admit death’s constancy throughout humanity. People die and that is an anxiety-provoking fact of life. Death anxiety can feel especially tangible in our connected world.
Legacy thus serves as a form of posthumous transitional object; a way of calming our fears about how we will be remembered. For many, reconciling their feelings towards their legacy is an avenue to tame death anxiety.The case of Mr. B illustrates this. As a 72-year-old male with a long history of generalized anxiety, he once had a nightmare as a child, similar to the plot of Sleeping Beauty.
By bringing to Mr. B’s attention that his ever-present anxiety is rooted in fear of death, he was able to gain more insight into his own defensive behaviors. By confronting his death anxiety and processing his definition of a life well lived together in therapy, he’s acknowledged his lack of social connection as demoralizing, and has made significant strides to remedy this. He’s been able to focus on a more fulfilling life day to day, with less emphasis on his to-do list and aspirations.
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