Dear Care and Feeding: This move will ultimately be exciting for our family. But I know the news will devastate our son.
One thing I’ve noticed about the young kids who still keep in touch with my daughters after moving elsewhere is how happy many of them are now. Sure, any change is hard at first, but once they entered into the routine of school, making new friends, and taking part in activities, life started becoming fun again. I have a strong feeling the same thing will happen with your son, because children are way more adaptable and resilient than we give them credit for.
Regarding your son, I think you need to be at peace with the fact that he’s going to put up some resistance when you break the news to him, so you should be as direct as possible. You can say something along the lines of, “We’re going to move to a bigger house in a new city, and we’ll have more opportunities to do fun things. It may be tough at first, but mommy and daddy will be here to help you through it. I know you’re going to love it, trust me.
In other words, this too shall pass. Once it does, you’re going to love the larger home and extra money in your bank account.My MIL watches our 18-month-old most workdays at our home after basically begging to when we were discussing childcare options when I returned to work 6 months ago. My biggest concern with this has always been her severe anxiety. She has to know exactly how to perform any task before she is even willing to attempt it.
I don’t think it’s our job to give her life purpose nor do I find this level of preparation we have to go to so that she doesn’t potentially feel overwhelmed during the day to be sustainable. I’d like to get my husband on board with daycare then for us to sit down together and talk to her, making it clear that it’s not because she’s not providing great care and it doesn’t mean she will never see/care for him.
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