Is this the end of Ben, Jen, and Dunkin’?
is any indication, but does that mean Ben is now a Starbucks man by association? Will the Dunkin’ stock plummet? Will angry Bostonians in scally caps litter the Boston Harbor with Dunkin’ coffee cups and doughnut containers in protest?
And now, the real question: Why do I care where two celebs get coffee? A totally fair query, which I can only answer by saying that I am not well, and after driving across half the country solo this month, I am nothing if not loyal to my coffee mega-brand of choice, which just so happens to be Starbucks. Do I wish the company would stop? Absolutely, but when you’re setting out from Santa Fe or Phoenix or some tiny town in Texas at 6 a.m.
All of that said, I have to admit that I still feel some weird sense of deflation at the thought of Ben Affleck, pride of Boston and king of Dunkies, sipping from a…. I would never blame Jennifer for his defection; after all, sometimes new—or newly rekindled—love begets change, and God knows if there’s one thing a solid couple needs, it’s a go-to coffee source that everyone can enjoy without disagreement.
Does all this spell the end of Ben, Jen, and Dunkin’? Not necessarily, but I’ve thought it over, and I’m now willing and ready to welcome Ben to the Starbies fold. Pull up a chair and grab a frappucino so sweet it makes you temporarily lose control of your faculties, Ben. Just keep your nose clean, tip handsomely, and please don’t order a cake pop if it’s the only one left in the display case; you are extremely hot and rich and famous, and other people need it more than you.
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