“I try to play tennis every day, but I almost never win, nor do I ever really believe that I will,“jaycaspiankang writes. “What meaning can be drawn from this seemingly innate difference in temperament? And what does all my losing say about me?”
,” a collection of Wallace’s essays on the sport.
What “Winning Ugly” offers, then, are steps you can take to approximate the greatness that can’t be explained. You will never develop Pete Sampras’s first serve or McEnroe’s hand-eye coördination, but you can learn from their preparation and watch their adjustments. You can “unfreeze your strokes” to maximize your warmups. You can win the “hidden ad points” that your opponent might be willing to give away because he doesn’t understand their importance.
I am all the bad parts, but not because of nerves or fear. What I lack is a belief that the outcome of a tennis match is within my control. This is the second time I’ve written about losing—the first time was—and I don’t know if I’ve gained any insights. The difference between winning and losing may originate in my mind, but it resides in the dormant spaces that stay dark and mysterious on a brain scan. In the moments in which Gilbert sees opportunity, I can focus only on my imminent demise.
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