Dear Care and Feeding: Do I need to let her know the truth?
I’m pretty sure I know the answer here, but I need a quick sanity check. Growing up, my narcissistic father was emotionally abusive to me, my brother, and my mother. Brother and I are now in our early 30s, and our parents divorced explosively just before the pandemic. To make a long story short, my “pillar of the community” father was carrying on multiple long-term affairs, which I discovered when one of his mistresses called me out of the blue and told all.
Very soon after the divorce, my father married a woman who seems … lovely? I have never met her or talked to her. They are both in their 60s, so there are no obvious age/power dynamics. She has a unique and powerful life story that she speaks publicly about , so I know a fair amount about her from a few quick Google searches. I’m worried about her.
However, those closest to him eventually see his true colors: He is mean, controlling, self-absorbed, and has an explosive temper. He used to scream at me for hours for infractions like leaving a plate on the counter when I was a young teenager. If my mother tried to intervene, he’d just turn his temper on her.
Now that he’s been married to his new wife for a few years, there’s no way she hasn’t seen this side of him. I know he tells people we aren’t in touch anymore because my brother and I took my mom’s side in the divorce and “abandoned” him.
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