Dear Care and Feeding: My mother-in-law told me all of this when I was very tired after a long night of newborn care.
Of course it’s not right to ask you to keep this diagnosis a secret from your wife, and it was terribly unfair of your mother-in-law to ask that of you. She might get angry or offended when you broach the subject with her, but I don’t think that’s your main concern right now—and you do need to talk with her again. Tell her that your wife is an adult who deserves to know the truth, and she would be incredibly hurt and upset if she found out that you knew and kept it from her.
It will be hard for your wife’s parents to tell her the truth, but it would be hard news for them to share and difficult for her to hear attime. Let your mother-in-law know that if they don’t tell her within [a short period of time, say one week max], then you will tell your wife. If your courage falters, think about your wife and how she will feel. I’m sure you’d like to have the best possible relationship with your in-laws, but your priority is to do right by, support, and be there for her.
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