Dear Care and Feeding: I know I should be grateful for all my husband does, but...
How do you mourn and still parent? My best friend passed away suddenly in a car accident. We have been close since grade school and she’s like a sister to me. My kids are 2- and 5-year-old twins, and I’m a single mom. They loved my friend like an auntie but are so young and have complex age-appropriate feelings about death as well as mourning.
I’m not just sad and worried about my kids dealing with death for the first time, I am distraught and exhausted and can’t think. I have alarms on my phone for everything from feeding the kids to pickup/dropoff to bedtime because my mind is so foggy I forget to do basic things. I try to focus on the kids when they’re here and promise myself I’ll feel my feelings when they’re asleep, but I don’t know how to put it away even enough to parent.
” by Megan Devine and I recommend it for more info on the side effects of grief and how to cope with them.What Devine writes about kids and grief also stood out to me. In addition to being open about the issues of death and grief, she says, “We can let them see our own grief in a way that says, ‘This hurts and it’s OK to feel it.
She HATES these. She tries to negotiate her way out of them. She cries, she hides; occasionally I have to wrestle her to get her to hold still. We’ve tried counting during shots, breathing exercises, etc., but nothing works more than once. I thought she’d settled into them a bit, but the fighting is back again. She has to have them. How can I make this easier for her ?I, too, have an medically anxious 11-year-old.
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