My Hot Night, a Graphic Novelization

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My Hot Night, a Graphic Novelization
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One writer’s diary of living with menopausal VMS symptoms.

It’s 10 p.m., and the heat is on. Warmth radiates from my torso, up my spine, to my neck. It bubbles from within toward my skin. It’s my regular hot flash, and it’s the barometer of how the rest of my night will go. I can almost set my clock to it.post-menopausal

, and this nightly bout of vasomotor symptoms , the medical terminology for hot flashes and night sweats, is the most predictable part of my experience. Aside from my 10 p.m. flare-up, I can never tell when a hot flash will strike. An indoor cycling class, a walk down the street, or lunch with my family can elicit an open-faucet-like sweat release from behind my left ear.In my life before menopause, I was a sound sleeper, and I like to think it’s because I have a bedtime routine.

My body pulsates with heat as I move through the darkness, feeding my furry friend and making my way back to my bed. I switch pillows, looking for relief. I have a pillow I save just for this moment that lies untouched until the heat comes, so it’s optimally cool when I need it.If I’m lucky, I’ll fall back asleep. The pillow’s coolness against my hot skin is just what I need to relax me and allow me to sleep until my alarm goes off — or for an hour before the next hot flash.

My cat sees an opportunity. Stomach full, it’s time to cuddle. He makes his way to my belly and curls up beside me. He doesn’t care that the waterworks have begun, that my wet nightgown is sticking to my skin, and that the fan that I so desperately needed because I was so hot is now causing me to freeze. Wet skin and clothes don’t pair well with the breeze.

I feel my body and clothes dry. I check the clock. The alarm will go off in 90 minutes. I’m not willing to give up on sleep yet, so I make myself a deal. I’ll head to the gym if I’m still awake after five cycles of counting deep breaths from 10 to one. Inhale, 10, exhale. Inhale, nine, exhale. Inhale, eight, exhale, and so on. I lose count after three cycles, then I lose count all together. Next thing I know, my alarm goes off.

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