Traditionally, such questions about private matters were no more acceptable than “How much money do you make?”
Can you suggest a polite response that refuses to honor the question and avoids showing my rightful anger at the impertinence?
GENTLE READER: A distinguished gentleman, who had moved to a retirement facility to accommodate his ailing wife, once complained to Miss Manners about similar nosiness. In his case, it was that if he appeared anywhere alone, ladies would demand to know what had happened to his wife.“No, my dear,” Miss Manners told her friend. “They want to know if you are now eligible.”
She more than suspects that this is what prompts the rudeness you are encountering. She suggests looking intently at the questioner and saying, “I can’t imagine how my answer, whatever it might be, would affect you.”
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