Midwest Battered By Beautiful Weather

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Midwest Battered By Beautiful Weather
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'Frankly, I’m terrified.'

CHICAGO—Sending the region’s 68 million residents into a state of alarm, confusion, and panic, the American m

idwest was reportedly battered by beautiful weather Thursday. “We’re talking about unrelenting blue skies and a light breeze you feel gently on your face—trust me, folks, you do not want to get caught in this,” said meteorologist Phil O’Connell, advisingidwesterners to take shelter inside their homes as the region was pounded for a third straight day by temperatures reaching 79 degrees Fahrenheit and wind speeds up to 5 miles per hour.

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