“I wish there was some kind of stoppage time in life to add back what you’ve lost at the end—all the injuries, arguments, and close calls.” In a new essay, Julia Cho reflects on the man who made her love soccer.
I measure his absence in four-year increments. This is only the third World Cup without him. That makes it seem like not very long. I found out about his love of soccer incidentally. It was back in the early two-thousands, when everyone still used e-mail, and we would forward quizzes about ourselves to friends to see how well they knew us. I had never heard of the, but apparently it was what he would watch if he had to choose among the N.B.A. finals, the World Series, or the World Cup final.
Our wedding was the summer after that. As I sat in a room, waiting to walk down the aisle, a friend handed me a card and an accompanying gift from him. On the front of the card, in his childlike handwriting, he’d written my name and then the words “the girl of my life.” The present was England’s soccer jersey—navy on one side and red on the other. “It’s reversible!” he said afterward, excitedly. I’m still not sure why that was my gift.
The 2010 tournament in South Africa was the second and last World Cup of our marriage. Our daughter was eighteen months old. His music career had finally taken off, and he’d quit the day job. He was touring with the singer Regina Spektor as a rock cellist. He was home for a bit when the World Cup started, but I don’t think we watched a single game together that summer.
I wish I’d seen that last South Korea game with him. I shake my head at my younger self now, as we often do. But how was she to know? Maybe that’s why I rarely miss a South Korea game. The first sporting event that I take our daughter to is a soccer match, Tottenham vs. Roma. Tottenham loses. He always rooted for the underdogs. By the 2014 World Cup, she is five years old.
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