'We must stop giving these glorified chocolate chips a platform and focus on more important issues — like whatever happened to Butterfinger BB’s!'
“In the last year, we’ve made some changes to our beloved spokescandies,” the announcement stated. “We weren’t sure if anyone would even notice. And we definitely didn’t think it would break the internet.” the green M&M
. In addition to removing all of the gendered titles of the M&M’s — “Ms.” is objectively too sexy — they gave Green a sensible white sneaker in place of her original go-go boots in order to reflect her “effortless confidence.” There was upset, outrage, and disgust — mostly from Tucker Carlson at Fox News.
“M&M’s will not be satisfied until every last cartoon character is deeply unappealing and totally androgynous. Until the moment you wouldn’t want to have a drink with any one of them,” CarlsonAmericans want — to grab a beer with one of those talking candies. The sarcastic chyrons accompanying the segment said things like “Candy in sexy shoes is highly offensive” and “Progress at last: plain, frumpy M&M candy.” Carlson concluded, “When you’re totally turned off, we’ve achieved equity.
Tucker: M&M’s will not be satisfied until every last cartoon character is deeply unappealing and totally androgynous. Until the moment you wouldn’t want to have a drink with any one of them. That’s the goal. When you’re totally turned off, we’ve achieved equity…
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