'Confrontation with a colleague? No problem. With the caretaker of my children? No, thank you.'
I wrote for The Bump about hiring help for my children seemed to have a fairytale ending. After agonizing over the decision to seek help and all the trial and error of finding the right fit, we ended up with the perfect combination of nanny and sitter, welcoming her into the family and flourishing for over a year. Then we had to mess it up by moving states! We actually offered to bring her with us but she declined as she has a son in school, friends and a life in New York.
For the first few weeks, it seemed like this would be our new normal. But, while she was loving towards our little boy, Oliver, I couldn’t get her to engage with our 4-year-old daughter, Lilly, no matter what I tried. The baby would be napping for two hours and there was nothing else to do but play with my daughter. Yet, there she sat, alone, or, since I work from home, often with me.
The next few months were filled with ups and downs—probably more downs than ups. But I so badly wanted it to work that I told myself differently. When our nanny was on, she was amazing: positive attitude, happy children, home straightened, laundry done, dishes washed. When she was off, we all were. Her pessimistic presence could be felt by all. Ultimately, we parted ways, unfortunately not so amicably this time.
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