Talking to your child about death can be daunting, especially when you are also grieving. death grief talkingtokidsaboutdeath
As a pediatrician and a parent myself, I often hear from families in times of need. A child’s beloved grandparent died after a struggle, a child’s father died in an accident, a child’s teacher or friend died unexpectedly, or even a beloved pet dies, and I get a panicked call.
And kids have big imaginations. It’s better to tell them the truth than to let them imagine the worst.Sometimes a grieving parent is not in a mindset to support a child’s needs. If you are in this difficult space, ask your community to step in and care for your child until you’re better able to do so. Prioritizing your own well-being in these moments is one of the best things a parent can do.Many parents fear falling apart in front of their children and showing their grief.
This can translate to a child who never used to talk about death talking about death a lot, even up to 10 times a day. This age group will also draw pictures or play games about death as a way to process this new knowledge. Parents of children this age who grieve should also understand that their child may not come to them for support. Tweens and teens often want to spare their parent and look to their peers instead.If your child withdraws or doesn’t want to talk to you about the loss, the first question should be, “If you’re not talking to me about it are you talking to someone else?” Friends, parents of friends, teachers, coaches and school counselors can all be part of the team supporting your child’s grief.
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