Here are 4 reasons why those who have survived trauma sometimes find it necessary to initiate and maintain estrangements
emotional and physical neglect perpetrated by my parents, which negatively impacted my ability to thrive as an adult. When I decided to become estranged from my mother , I made substantial progress in trauma recovery. My decision was not popular within my family, community, or society, yet it was necessary.
Family estrangement is a misunderstood and stigmatized experience. When trauma survivors discuss their estrangements with others, they are often met with judgment,, and sometimes even victim blaming. Family estrangements can be short-term, long-term, or permanent, and there are many reasons why survivors may need to initiate and maintain estrangements. Understanding these needs might help decrease the stigma surrounding estrangement, allowing survivors to feel understood and supported.
Some trauma survivors have had experiences in which people have harmed them. This harm could have been caused directly by an offender or indirectly by a bystander who failed to protect or support them. When family members have acted as offenders or bystanders they may be unable to provide safe relationships for survivors. Some family members who have caused harm can do the work needed to provide a safe relationship for survivors.
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