Eli McCann: Utah’s Pioneer Day is a Frankenstein’s monster of a holiday. Witness that wacky, wonderful parade.

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Eli McCann: Utah’s Pioneer Day is a Frankenstein’s monster of a holiday. Witness that wacky, wonderful parade.
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Eli McCann: It’s patriotic-palooza — even though our forebears were fleeing the U.S. in their trek to the West.

every July 24 . Although we never attended the parade, my family participated in the holiday each summer while I was growing up. Our celebrations mimicked the Fourth of July so a lot of my memories of this particular tradition are a bit blurry and hard to parse now. In fact, I don’t think I knew these were two wholly separate and distinct holidays until I was at least 14. I just thought our neighborhood was so patriotic we celebrated Independence Day twice.

When I saw Santa go by in a motorized recliner, however, I realized we had really lost the plot on this whole thing. Or maybe it was the space alien-inspired float. Or the mermaid wearing a black skirt to cover her legs in an apparent attempt to make the fishtail coming off her heinie give the illusion that she was swimming down the street instead of walking . Or it might have even been the off-off-off-off-off-brand Winnie the Pooh throwing hard candy to tiny crying spectators.

Just as a covered wagon with the words “Salt Lake Granite Stake” plastered along the side made its way down the street, a loud cheer caught my attention, and that’s when I noticed some raucous parade watchers a few balconies away. A sign from their railing read “

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