Dear Care and Feeding: My Dad Constantly Undermines My Parenting

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Dear Care and Feeding: My Dad Constantly Undermines My Parenting
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Where do I draw the line when it comes to my dad “spoiling” my kids?

Let me get this straight—your dad comes to your house, completely disrespects you and your rules, undermines your parenting, makes your kids wonder who’s in charge, and you think it’s a bad idea to stop him from visiting? From where I sit, that’s the answer to your problems. He clearly doesn’t take you seriously, and it’s making your life exponentially more difficult. The best way for him to fall in line is to refuse to let him visit his grandkids if he doesn’t abide by your rules.

I believe in honesty in situations like this, and sticking to your guns on follow through. If I were you, I would start with a simple conversation that could go something like this—“Dad, I know you love my kids and they love you, but I can’t have you going against my rules for them.the one raising them, not you—so I have to deal with the fallout once you leave. Going forward, you cannot contradict my parenting wishes in front of my kids. If you do, then I’m not going to invite you over anymore.

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