I don’t know how to handle this without refusing to see her.
Explain that although she may have painted and redecorated the house, seeing the place without your grandmother in it is depressing and you are no longer willing to do it. And the next time she asks you to help her clean or go shopping for her, say no and tell her why.
His health challenges have mounted during the last two years, though, and he no longer has the energy to follow up on medical appointments or do much of anything.
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