Dear Abby advises a mom whose children have addiction issues and a woman who doesn’t want to offend her friend.
I have grown children, ages 51 and 43, who argue and hate each other because of their heavy drinking. My older son is an alcoholic. The younger one is on the same path. When they are drunk, they fight really bad, and it’s tearing me apart.
While you’re at it, make sure they know you have had your fill of their sibling rivalry, and if they can’t settle their differences like adults, you do not want them over there. Be sure your older son knows that if he doesn’t comply AND get help to sober up, he will have to find another place to live. Your younger son should also be told you want to see him only when he’s sober. Whatever happens after that will be better than the chaos in which you are living.
She’s retired, and I still work, so my free time is limited during weekends. I feel pressured and must leave my events early in order to resume these dinners. Many of her close friends have passed away over the past couple of years, and she seems increasingly dependent upon me for companionship. She suggests many other events and trips during the week.
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