Dear Abby: Mother-in-law’s abuse continues even after 30 years

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Dear Abby: Mother-in-law’s abuse continues even after 30 years
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Recently, I told my husband I am no longer visiting her because it has caused too much anxiety and depression. He is not supporting me.

I married a wonderful, thoughtful man 30 years ago. His family accepted me and were very kind, with the exception of his mother. She hardly looked at or talked to me. If she did talk to me, it was about her being too young to be a grandmother . She also would regale me with stories about how my husband got in trouble during his youth .

So now we come to the present. Our two children and I have been gossiped about, treated like servants when we are with her and demeaned when spoken to, and my mother-in-law constantly tries to talk alone with my husband. I’m sure she’s trying to split us apart. Her abuse has separated me from his extended family.

Recently, I told my husband I am no longer visiting her because it has caused too much anxiety and depression. He is not supporting me out of fear of what she might do to him. Please advise, Abby.Unless there is money involved, your husband may have been conditioned from childhood to fear his mother. It’s very sad. Maintain a relationship with your husband’s siblings if you can, but stand your ground when it comes to being forced to visit your MIL.

We are both in our mid-20s, and he has since gotten married and had two children. Being excluded from his life hurts me deeply. We have to work together daily, and it’s stressful having to encounter him because goes out of his way to be rude and put me down. Must I accept that this is how our relationship will be forever?If there is one life lesson I have learned, it is that interpersonal problems cannot be solved without communication.

However, because his behavior extends into the workplace, discuss this with your employer. Your brother appears to be doing his best to create a hostile work environment, and that, my friend, is against the law.My boyfriend refuses to be intimate with me because he feels it would be unfaithful to his ex-wife. What can I do?There is nothing you can do. Because you described him as having an “ex-wife,” I will assume your boyfriend is legally divorced.

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