Sex was never a central part of our relationship, but the nearly complete lack of intimacy over the last 10 years has been frustrating.
Since the last blow-up a couple months ago, I have tried to ignore my needs, but that isn’t working. I am becoming judgmental and critical, and I know that living this way will make me increasingly resent him. My struggle is the thought of leaving someone I swore “for better or worse” with, for the selfishness of “my needs.” Any advice? -- NEEDY IN ALASKA
DEAR NEEDY: Raise the subject again with your husband. When he says, “Well, divorce me then!” ask him if he really means what he is saying because there may be another option. There are no hard-and-fast rules for the situation in which you find yourself, and some couples deal with it discreetly. Ask yourself what you would do if the situation were reversed.
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