She sees husband's newborn as a chance to 'start from scratch' as a stepmom, but the ex gets more time because she's breastfeeding.
However, the current custody arrangement is tilted severely in the ex’s favor because she is breastfeeding. I think I will lose this special opportunity if we don’t get to spend any time with the baby till she’s a toddler. Should I urge my husband to petition for split custody?If you want to be a “third parent” to this child, then you need to do the one thing that makes you a real parent vs.
You have to scrutinize any thought you think, any idea you get and any move you make; you have to scrutinize yourself — for flaws, frailties, selfish motives. If you’re unwilling to question whether you’re wrong, then there’s little chance you’ll be right.I believe this applies universally, but it’s particularly true, and the consequences particularly cruel, when there are small children involved.
Once you have stripped your motives of all their protective rationalizations, the next thing you need to do is stop seeing “Get close to Baby” as a zero-sum proposition.Babies may bond with caregivers, but so do toddlers. Even if you came in a year or two “late” , that doesn’t relegate you to some second tier of parental value.
It has nothing to do with the title; I’ve seen too many “Moms” whose children have severed ties with them in disgust, just as I’ve seen full-hearted devotion to the guardian who goes by “Kelly.
If you’ve got these, then you’ll make the best of this “rare opportunity,” regardless of when your parental clock starts ticking. And if you’re respectful of this little baby’s mother, then she’s more likely to start that clock sooner. Impatience crashes the gate , where grace gets invited in.
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