'On top of the roller coaster of new emotions, they feel confused and worried about why they are feeling the way they do.'
Let’s see if this rings true: your dependably snuggly 10-year-old son turns to you at school drop off and declares “no more kisses goodbye in the morning!” then casually walks off to meet up with his friends. Or maybe this scenario sounds familiar: You pick your 14-year-old son up from school, he climbs in the car and slouches down in his seat with his hood up over his head, and when you ask him how his day was and he mutters “fine” before looking down at his phone.
Parents are surprised when their nine or 10-year-old son goes quiet or grows angry a lot of the time, the way they imagine a 16-year-old might. But this is a direct effect of testosterone, which circulates in boys’ bodies for a year or two before any other outward signs of maturation appear. So even though they still look a lot like little boys, their hormone-fueled behavior might seem totally foreign.
Since reaching pubescent kids effectively depends upon the subtle ways you approach them — think of them like skittish horses — here are three of our favorite ways to create connections with tween and teen boys in particular. These strategies are not guaranteed to work every time, but they will help crack open a closed bedroom door, helping to make some progress in overcoming their hormone-induced moodiness.
Being curious and judgment-free about what makes your son laugh or gets him up in the morning helps create low-stakes moments of connection with him. ShowingHow did your fantasy team do this week? Have you gotten a new skin in Fortnite yet? Any new Tyler the Creator songs dropping soon?
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