Ask Amy: Somehow, my cash gift managed to offend them

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Ask Amy: Somehow, my cash gift managed to offend them
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I’m so angry I feel like withholding it until they can behave properly.

The response from Sal was: “Please do not give me unsolicited financial advice again. I’m very busy with this gig and can’t help you to set up Venmo. If you can cash the check and give it to my parents, I’ll pick it up from them sometime in the next few weeks.”

Please give me some guidance here. I’m torn between family duty and giving this young person a lesson they’ll not forget.You could play this two ways: One is not to respond at all, and don’t do anything, forcing Sal to contact you directly regarding the money. My husband, trained in mechanical issues, ignores any information or advice I provide to help him with “his” plants.Dedicated Master GardenerThe reason you can give welcome and appreciated advice to hundreds of gardeners each month is because you aren’t married to them.

I have a Post-it note over my computer that says, “All unsolicited advice is self-serving.” It makes you feel good to help! It also speaks to your well-earned expertise. But oftentimes, people receive unsolicited advice as mainly a spotlight on their own challenges and they take this advice as a tacit critique.

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