Dear Amy: My mother-in-law is causing a rift in the family that’s hurting my husband.
The way you describe this situation, your husband’s ex is the gatekeeper, controlling access to his grown children — or at least, your mother-in-law perceives it that way.
Your husband should work on maintaining a relationship with his sons. If he has a good relationship with them, his mother might not have to go through his ex to spend time with her grandsons.My friend, “Candace” consistently says things about herself that just aren’t accurate. For example, she drinks over two bottles of wine every night and then trash talks a friend of hers for drinking too much.
Do you have any suggestions on how to respond or push back politely when this happens consistently with someone — or is just being silent the best way to go?If your friend “Candace” consistently talks about her friend “Shelley’s” drinking, this would provide an opening for you to segue to her drinking. She might be bringing up this topic as a sort of a trial balloon — testing the waters to see if you will react.
The most important aspect of discussing your friend’s drinking is for you to detach from your own desired outcome. Candace will not suddenly smack her head in awareness and run toward recovery.
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