Advice | Carolyn Hax: He withdrew a large sum from their joint account, then dismissed her questions about it.
We equally put in a few thousand dollars to start it off, and each equally put in a few hundred with each paycheck. Just this week, he withdrew 50 percent of the balance without a word to me. It took a lot of effort for me not to explode and justI tell him I need to know what is going on; I need an ongoing dialogue. His stance is that if I trust him, there’s no need for him to tell me what the withdrawal was for. He classifies it as meaningless small talk that is a waste of his time.
Also, “a lot of effort for me not to explode” identifies a root problem to address, not a symptom to celebrate your ability to gut out. Don’t marry him, or anyone, until you can speak freely and feel heard, and you’re valued for who you are. Full stop.· Please don’t marry this guy.
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