In newyorkerhumor, a few rules for parents touring campuses with prospective students.
Welcome, parents! We are delighted that you have chosen to tour our campus with your offspring today. Thank you for listening to late-catalogue Taylor Swift all the way here instead of early-catalogue Taylor Dayne, like you wanted.
If you are touring your alma mater today, welcome back! Please note that utterances beginning with “Back in my day . . .” or “I remember the time . . .” or “Do they still . . .” are strictly prohibited.It is expressly forbidden to relive or reënact any “high jinks” you participated in as a college student, including but not limited to: streaking, smoking, drinking, eliminating, rubbing any part of yourself against any part of campus statuary, or otherwise defacing school property.
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