The last thing an anxious person needs to hear is, 'Calm down.' Here are some better ways to be supportive, by ASmithLMHC
Though the above reflexive assertion may seem to be a logical reaction, taking the time to learn to be responsive will likely yield better results. If you are feeling riled by the person's angst, imagine what they're feeling.
Beginning by simply acknowledging the presence of high anxiety is a good starting point; e.g."Jason, I can tell you're feeling really uneasy right now," setting a more tone. Finally, being willing to assist and inquiring,"What would be helpful for you right now?" engenders a constructive, problem-solving partnership atmosphere which will likely have an anxiety-dampening effect of its own .Pervasive anxiety is driven by thoughts.
For those who’ve never experienced such things, think back to a song you don’t like getting stuck in your head and tell yourself to “just not think about it.” It didn’t work, did it? Now, attach to that a biologically drivenputting you on high alert, for the thought is essentially a perception of danger that feeds the survival response of being on standby for fight/flight.
of scrutiny from others. Lastly, it's invalidating, in that it can imply that whatever is on their mind isn’t a big deal.When someone divulges a pesky thought that is attached to their anxious state, it’s better to create a dialogue around the matter, again, partnering with the individual to show support and constructively problem-solve to try to bring down the acuity.
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