Loud in every sense of the word, the civilian Hummer wages war on rationality.
Nothing about driving a Hummer on the pavement is terribly pleasant other than its ability to intimidate fellow motorists. The steering wheel feels like a loop of steel rebar covered with foam rubber, and it transmits not a jot of information about the road surface. Turn the wheel at all quickly, and you are immediately reminded of Sir Isaac Newton's theory on the resistance of a 7580-pound brick to change direction.
Having duly noted all these objective criticisms, we organized a special final test: a poseur's evening out to dinner and the theater in the Hummer. One of our guests, wearing a De Wolfe original mink coat, grumbled about the undignified climb into the back seat, but once aboard she was quite happy. On the way to the restaurant, we spied some gentle rolling mounds of frozen earth in a subdivision that was under construction.
VERDICT: Still way too loud, large, uncomfortable, and impractical to be considered a viable alternative to mainstream luxury sport-utes. Our social climber spent the duration of the weekend conquering Michigan's semi-pavement, and we had our answer: 70 percent of Hummer buyers are nuts.
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